Lists

I am a fan of lists.  All kinds of lists. Lists of things to buy when shopping. Lists of projects for the house.  Lists of vegetables I like and want to plant and grow.  Lists of books to read. Lists of things to complete on weekends – this one is also known as the “to do” list.

I was thinking about something yesterday morning, you know, while working on my weekend “to do” list. One list I don’t have, and have never thought to have, is a “to be” list. This one, I think, is a much harder list for people to make. A list of things I want to be. I also believe that this list evolves as we do... so this is an ever changing, expanding and contracting list...

Maybe now is a good time to make that list – or to at least START that list.

·         I want to be…….. healthy

·         I want to be…….. slim

·         I want to be…….. pretty

·         I want to be…….. strong

·         I want to be…….. patient

·         I want to be…….. happy

·         I want to be…….. productive

·         I want to be…….. kind

·         I want to be…….. deliberate

·         I want to be…….. gentle

·         I want to be…….. loving

·         I want to be…….. optimistic

·         I want to be…….. creative

Here’s the thing. In order to be all of these things – to be able to put all of these things out into the world – and to make the world a better place by being all of these things, I first have to learn how to be these things to myself.

With love across the waters…

Actually Yes, I Can!

People are notoriously hard on themselves. We constantly tell ourselves that we cannot do things.  We believe we are not capable of doing something because we aren’t skilled enough, smart enough, rich enough, strong enough, capable enough – well, you know, this list of “why not” goes on and on and on.

 

We are so good at stopping ourselves from doing things for fear of failure that we forget that, without trying to do something new, something harder than we have tried before, something that could lay us open to ridicule and contempt, we miss out on the opportunities that could MAKE us stronger, smarter, more capable, more skilled, richer, happier and more fulfilled.

 

OH – and we make excuses (lots of them) for why we don’t have the time to try.

 

So how do we change things? I don’t have the answers for this one for anyone other than myself, but I’ll tell you my internal scripts that help me not only take those first steps, but also the ones that help me move through the fear of failure.

 

The first one (and for me the most dangerous) is this: “How hard can it possibly be?”

 

How hard can it possibly be got me into running - which I ended up loving in spite of myself - and miss terribly. It got me into riding a bicycle again after nearly twenty years.  Again – something I love. It got me into trying to do things in my home – things like pulling off drywall, pulling out carpeting and has started me learning how to refinish old things.

 

Yeah – this is the one that seems to get me into the most trouble.  But honestly, once I’m in it, it is also the one that keeps me going and helps me get to my second script – which is “I can do *anything* for 5 minutes.”

 

It’s true. I can to anything for 5 minutes – and I started using this script when I was learning to love running. I was miserable and cold and in pain and couldn’t see how I could ever possibly love running – EVER.  Runner’s high was a delusion.  Running outside in Toronto at -30*C was insane.  That was it – runners has to be crazy – I’d see them out in the snow and rain and wind and they seemed to be enjoying themselves – that IS crazy, isn’t it?  What got me through was me telling myself, with every single step, that I am totally capable of doing absolutely ANYTHING for 5 minutes – its only F I V E little minutes!

 

And it worked.

 

The thing I am struggling with right now is RE-STARTING good habits. I have back-slid with diet and exercise – I’m feeling sluggish and although my mental state of being is great right now, my physical one is not where I want it to be.  I need to set myself some SMART goals, write out those intentions in red pen, focus on positive outcomes and ask myself: “How hard can it possibly be? I can, after all, do anything for five minutes!”

 

With love across the waters,

Happy Anniversary to Me!

 Yesterday marked the one-year anniversary of “all hell breaking loose” for me. One year ago yesterday I:

• Started my new job (and the associated training program – which just finished last week,)
• Took possession of my new home, and;
• Moved into my new home (and out of the townhouse I was renting)

When I look back over the past year (as is, I think, appropriate to do right about now) I can see I have accomplished a lot both on the job and around my house…

At work I have made a good change for myself – am now involved in a job I like – one that interests and challenges me and, for the most part, one I can leave at the office when I go home at the end of my day.

At home I have made a start to the renovations inside (and the removal of 17 different kinds of wallpaper)

And am now surrounded by clean lines and light colours:

I made a start to the changes in the back and front yards.  I hacked back a lot of this:

Removed all SORTS of strange and interesting crap:

And am left with this for now:

No more jungle out there but still a ways to go.

Where renovations to the house itself are concerned, I have also learned that I need to use some temperance in getting things started – or rather, taking on only one project at a time and seeing it through to completion BEFORE starting a new one.

I have learned how to water-bath can food and am in the throes of preserving as much of the current bounty of my space as I can before winter sets in. Next year I hope to have an actual garden and to produce (and preserve for myself) even more of what I can grow.

I still have a long way to go, but looking back, I’m pleased with my progress.

With love across the waters,

New… in the WTF File

I am on vacation this week and so have a LOT of projects around the house planned - Feng Shui related, home renovation related and just general catch up on life related. Oh, and some Christmas shopping too, since I'm off. I have, though, decided that my house needs a WTF file.  

Such things added will be:

• The floor (and three sub floors) in the laundry room. 
• The gray bathroom (complete with wallpaper) that has a gimungous hole in the wall (strategically hidden behind a mirror)
• The secondary heat source – an ELECTRIC fireplace (tell me how THAT is supposed to work when the power goes out!!??)

My most recent addition?  The living room wall. What was visible when I bought the house was (peeling) textured cream coloured wallpaper. 

Yesterday it was one of two walls tackled in “The Great Wallpaper Removal of 2011.”

The Steamer and The Scoring Tool

Just LOOK at the spikes on this baby!!!

What did I find under the textured wallpaper?

Silver paint in some places.  Yes, Silver.  In other places? FLOCKED SILVER WALLPAPER!!!!!

Yes, it really is FLOCKED SILVER WALLPAPER!!!

Yes, that’s right – textured wallpaper was hiding flocked silver wallpaper on top of patches of silver paint that was painted onto beautiful strip cedar walls.

But really – how do you explain silver paint AND flocked silver wallpaper? In a living room???

*sigh*

Here are some before pictures of yesterday’s project:

The first layer of wallpaper between the bedrooms

The second layer of wallpaper between the bedrooms

Textured wallpaper on the living room wall

 And here are the after shots:

MUCH better!!

Really... I should have left it alone!

Unfortunately, since that particular wall is cedar strip, I don't think I'm going to be able to save it.  The paint appears to have soaked into the cedar to quite a depth.  I think all I'm going to be able to do is paint over it.  That particular wall will be, much as it breaks my heart to say it, OK to paint over (which goes completely against how I feel about wood) becasue the living room is so small. The dark panels of the wood make it a very enclosed and dark space  - what I really want in my home is a light and bright space.

Today, after a dog walk and some errands that need completion,  I’m taking on the wallpaper in the bathroom and the wallpaper in the kitchen.  Wednesday I plan to take on my bedroom and, if I have time, the laundry room and then Thursday I’ll finish it out with my home office.

With love across the waters,

Bears? Really??

You may not know this about me, but sometimes I need to learn things the hard way.

Alright, alright!  I admit it, I USUALLY need to learn things the hard way.  This week’s “key learnings” have been no different – and quite interesting.

At about 2:00 am Wednesday morning Jasmine woke me up by barking – there was some scuffling and banging outside, but I figured it was just kids messing around, told Jasmine to shut up, and went back to sleep.

When I took her out for her morning “constitutional” walk, there was nothing out of the ordinary (that I could see at 6am, in the dark) when we came back home. This in mind, we went inside and I got ready for work & exited the house… Wednesday is garbage day, so I went to get my garbage can and IT WAS MISSING! 

Those Damn Kids stole my garbage can!!!  Mumble mumble, curse curse,

A small side note? I *might* also be turning into a Grumpy Old Person.

I turned to get into my car and there it was, wedged between the car and one of the upright posts holding the overhang up… jammed in between actually… I walked around the car and saw the lid was off and the can was completely empty – the garbage bag vanished.

Hm.  Maybe it was not kids after all?

I picked up the can (which is plastic) and then the lid and THE LID HAS HOLES POKED IN IT – I MEAN HOLY CRAP – ARE THOSE TEETH HOLES???  F-ME – ARE THOSE BEAR TEETH HOLES???????

Wednesday was a Good Day – and around 10 in the morning, one of the ladies told me that it is “snowing like a bugger” out in Cumberland (where I live)

Yippee!!!!!!!!!

I do have to say it though, there was bloody HORRIBLE weather in Courtenay, all day – rain and wind and fricken cold… I sat in my office, hoping the snow would stick around until at least I got home and could let my dog outside to freak out in it and run around…

5:00 PM rolled around, and I headed home… driving along the connector highway I noted that lights were off – and an intersection light was out as well.

Hm.

Closer to home, yup, more lights were out…

Hm.

I pulled into Cumberland and ALL of the lights around were out.

HM.

I have a land line (thank God) – that (and the cell phone) is the only thing that will work when the power goes out.  I called Hydro and the power was hopeful to be back on around 6… apparently there had been an horrific car accident at about 10 in the morning that took out power to about 10 000 homes and businesses…

The power came on at about 20 minutes to 6:00, and the furnace a minute or two after that.

Key learnings from Wednesday?

• Garbage can – MUST keep it in the house until garbage day – there really ARE bears out here and they really DO attack garbage cans for stuff. 
• I need to learn how to put the chains on the tires of my car (you know, just in case)
• I had to change “top priority” items on my “to do” list – the top item now is to have the chimney repaired & make certain the flue is in good shape and then get a wood stove (and a couple of cords of wood) because when the power goes out I have NO heat source in the house.
• Candles won’t cut it when the power goes out – I also need some safety lights and maybe a Coleman stove (or something like that) that run on battery and “mini” propane tank power…
• I have no salt – I NEED to get some salt. ASAP. For my driveway. It’s a sheet of fricken ice out there right now and I used the last of my old Sifto table salt to make the path to my car a little safer to walk on…

With love across the waters,

Choice, Chance and Change

You must make the Choice,

To take the Chance,

If you want anything in life to Change.

So true.  A friend of mine (currently living on Jersey, in the Channel Islands) posted this to her Facebook page a few days ago and the thought has been with me ever since.

Make the Choice.

Take the Chance.

Experience the Change.

So simple. I wonder why it is that we never get off the ground on most of the changes we think we want? 

Personally, I think my biggest challenge is in making the choice - fear of making the choice? Perhaps. I can see something isn't working for me, I can feel it and I can taste it in my daily happenings, but sometimes I'm afraid of what happens next.  What happens AFTER I make the choice? If it doesn't work, sometimes I can go back to the old way, as long as I didn't burn bridges... but most of the time, once the choice is made and actions have been taken, there *is* no going back. 

This one sort of falls into the "evil you know" category for me. What eventually forces my hand, in almost all "negative impact" situations is that the current negative experience FAR outweighs the perceived "evil I don't know" - making it impossible for me to stay where I am, or doing what I am doing.  Thankfully, I have only had a couple of these experiences in life and have been able, once recognition kicks in, to make the choices and take the chances needed to force the change.

I know a lot of people who don't cope well with change.  They freely admit to it & avoid it at all costs. I have always liked it - change, when needed, is a great thing.  At work, at home, personally, professionally - change (when needed) is a great thing.  Change simply for the sake of change isn't necessarily the best thing in the world, but I haven't really lived my life by the adage that "if it ain't broke, don't fix it"  because really, if you never look outside the windows to see what else is there, how do you know it actually ISN'T broken?

Taking chances all depends on your personal risk tolerance levels. Some people take loads of physical chances - bike riding without a helmet, driving without a seat belt, hell - running with scissors! Some people are more chance-oriented when it comes to their money (nope, not this girl, I need to ensure my "sleep at night" factor is covered) and some others are more chance-oriented with their lifestyle, relationships, locational choices... well, you get the picture.

As you can see, I have been chewing on this for a little while now.  I wonder, what are your thoughts on Choice, Chance and Change...?

With love across the waters,

Just a Few of the Things I Have Learned the Hard Way

This list grows daily... so far some of the best things I have learned so far are:

Any time the removal of a hot pie from the oven is attempted one-handed, the pie WILL end up face down, in the bottom of the oven.

Never try and spray paint primer on a garage door when it is windy outside.

Never try and spray paint primer on a garage door when it is windy outside and you don’t have a face mask on.

If, having tried to spray paint primer on a garage door when it is windy outside, while not wearing a face mask, don’t be surprised to find out that you will blow primer coloured snot into your tissue. (YUK)

Never try to disassemble an aluminum garden-shed while wearing flip-flops.

If you happen to try to disassemble an aluminum garden-shed while wearing flip-flops, the band-aids are ALWAYS upstairs.

Toes bleed WAY more than you think they will.

Watching Mike Holmes on Homes can lead to all sorts of mischief in the home.

Never assume that the house keys are in the car.

If having NOT verified the location of the house keys before driving off to play with your dog, borrowing a ladder to break into your own home at 7 in the morning can be problematic.

With love across the waters,