Sunday, January 23, 2011

(mini) Feng Shui Update #4

Tonight I officially finished the final task in my de-cluttering journey. Yes, I finally tackled the closet in my home office. Now that it’s all officially done, I feel a little sad, in a strange kind of way. I actually enjoyed the process of reviewing what I have, and getting rid of the things that aren’t necessary for me to retain. It’s a little strange to think that, in the last 6 months or so, I have reviewed each and every “thing” that I own and then given away, donated, recycled, thrown away or sold the things that no longer serve me.

What was the very last thing I removed…? Well, funnily enough, it was the hardest thing for me to actually let go of, which is likely why I left it to the very end of this process. This will sound strange, but the hardest thing to remove, for me, was day timers. Yes, of all of the things I have held onto for years and years (and carted across the country 4 times, AND taken overseas and back) is 22 years’ worth of day timers.

I think that the main reason that I found it so very hard to actually get rid of them is because of what they represented to me. Relationships. They all symbolized, to me, ex-boyfriends through the years.

How does this make me feel? Truly, tonight, I feel a little hollow inside. Not sad – I want to be clear that I am not sad at all – I am actually feeling lighter tonight than I think I have ever felt. I feel a little hollow though – and strangely, very nervous.

Way back in August, I commented in my Feng Shui Update #2, that what I had been noticing was that, as I was removing old things, new things were making their way to me. As I cleaned out closets, new clothing was being given to me, and as I gave away books, new books were arriving in my hands.

Perhaps the hollowness is related to the fact that, by hanging onto the day timers, I had been hanging onto energetic symbols of those various relationships. Now, gone, there is a space inside me, finally, that I am willing to allow to be filled. Maybe now, having let go (finally) of some of my past, my future can make his way to me.

With love across the waters...

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