The last few days have been fraught with trying to make decisions. An attractive role came up in Lake Cowichan and I spent a LOT of time trying to decide what to do about it. I spoke with friends and family, and even though my gut didn’t feel 100% with the idea, I sent in my application last week.
Over the weekend I did more thinking and Tuesday and Wednesday even more. What was I thinking on? A couple of things, really: first (and largest on the list) is that I actually don’t WANT to leave the Comox Valley – I like it here… it feels like the right place for me to be, and I can see myself living here, in this area, for a long time to come.
Second on the list, and not an unimportant issue, is the finances factor. If I took on the role and moved I would qualify for a mortgage and could buy a home, but the purchase of a home would eat up every last penny of my cushion - and I’m not overly comfortable with that idea at this point in time. When I bought my house in Ontario practically the first thing I had to do was have it re-roofed. With no “extra money” comes added stress.
Financial responsibility includes making tough decisions about large purchases - and just because you can do something doesn't always mean you should do something.
Feeling pretty close to decided on this, on Wednesday night I called and spoke with my Dad and, after explaining how I was feeling and why, I felt, even more so, that the responsible thing for me to do is to withdraw my application.
My Grannie always told me that “if it’s for you it’ll no pass you by” and I’m just not feeling it – so this time I’m going to pass it by. I sent a note to thank the branch manager for her time and consideration, but told her that I just can’t responsibly continue with the application process for this role at this time. Decision made.
It’s funny, but having the decision made and articulated actually makes me feel better. That’s probably a really good sign that I have, finally, made the right decision.
With love across the waters,